


Ménage à Trois

by echoflowertea



Series: Living [13]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Polyamory, Reader Is Not Frisk, alphys and undyne sure do try though, reader is female, toriel is the best wingman ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-07-11 05:46:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7031491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/echoflowertea/pseuds/echoflowertea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Good things came in threes, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Un

**Author's Note:**

> first off, i wanted to give a HUGE thank you to **Elisa** for donating. i'm not sure if they read my fics here or on tumblr, or even what their username is, but I'm going to rant about it anyway. never in my life did i think that i would write something that motivated someone to do that. it's pretty amazing and i'm so humbled. i appreciate you and please let me know if you have any special requests.
> 
>  
> 
> **if you'd like to donate,[you can too](https://ko-fi.com/A258IM)!**
> 
>  
> 
> and, as always, i update this series **tuesdays and fridays**!
> 
>  **question of the day** : what line would YOU use to pickup sans?

You and Toriel were designated wedding planners.

She volunteered you for the position. You wanted to decline, but Alphys’ starry-eyed expression and Undyne’s threatening grin made you think twice about it.

The both of them were getting married. It was surreal. After watching them fumble around each other for years, finally becoming comfortable enough to come to terms with their feelings, and now go through a ceremony to declare that permanently in front of everyone? You were all for it. You loved the fact that they’d grown so much. This was for them. They weren’t doing this to please anybody, and that was what you respected the most.

But managing such a huge event was such a pain. Hiring caterers. Picking up entertainment. Renting a venue? Buying flowers?! CAKE??!! There was just so much to do and it really did feel like the minute you woke up you had about ten million things to do until you finally flopped back in bed.

They had ideas about what they wanted, so that made it easier. Monster weddings were much less…ritualized. They tended to personalize things like this because it was more about the couple than rules and traditions. But Alphys and Undyne were total weebs, so of course they were going to model the entire experience after something near and dear to their hearts: anime. They never told you which one, exactly, but they did drop hints in all of their strange requests.

“Oh, so Alphys’s dress will be red?”

“That’s what she said.” You scribbled more notes in the margins, flipping your pen over and under your fingers. “I think it’ll be super rad.”

“I am very excited. I cannot remember the last wedding I have been to!” She set down more numbers for you to call, her reading glasses in place while she addressed envelopes. “Thank you for taking a day off to help me with this.”

“No problem, Tori. It was nice to be able to get away.” You crossed another out. “Are we really going to invite Jerry of all people? He’ll ruin something. Like, I thought maybe we could cut him some slack last year at the Monster Mash…but he just ended up sticking his entire, cheese-dusted fingers into the chip bowl and gave everyone food poisoning.”

She chuckled at the memory. It was just awful. “He will end up coming regardless of an invite. All we can do is prepare and perhaps send some false trails?”

“Good one!” you cackled. “Remind me never to piss you off.”

You worked for about another hour. With her, everything passed by so quickly. You missed stuff like this. Underground, you two would have daily meetings and gossip about things you saw on the job. And she told you all sorts of secrets about herself and monster life. It was fun. You were able to lose yourselves in the here and now, seeing as how both the past and future drudged up unpleasant thoughts.

On the surface, so much had changed. But your friendship didn’t. You could still call each other up and chat for five minute intervals, going through your days and picking up where you left off. It was a little sad, sure, that you didn’t have as much time to spend face to face. Somehow it didn’t matter. Seeing her post photos of her kids on Undernet or catching texts with terrible memes meant just as much.

“I am getting so tired. We should take a break.” She set down her glasses on the table and stretched, pulling one arm over another and letting out a contented sigh. “Did you hear that?”

“Uh. Hear what?”

The doorbell rang. Toriel beamed at you just a little too sweetly. You narrowed your eyes at her while she stood from her seat, the faux gasp coming from her mouth giving you just what you needed to know. She was up to something, and you didn’t like it.

You heard her muffled voice from the living room and shrugged. Whoever it was, they sure were getting a laugh out of her. You were just going to finish up your last little note to yourself so you would remember where you left off, and—

“heya.”

Ah. So that was it.

“Nice try,” you smirked, turning to face him. “I was prepared this time.”

“i see that. guess i need to step up my game.” Damn it. You should’ve kept your mouth shut. “so. ready to go?”

“Um…go where?”

Toriel approached you with the biggest beam she could muster. Undyne would’ve been proud of her at this rate. “I know how hard you have been working lately, so I figured you could enjoy the rest of your day off! Time away from work is not very fun when you bog it down with even more work. Sans said he would take you out.”

Liar. That was _not_ how it happened at all. Toriel planned this from the beginning. She lured you over here with the false promise of helping your friends out just so she could see you and Sans together. You hadn’t even told her about the…date you went on last week. But judging from her expression and stance, she somehow caught wind of it. Maybe Sans told her. It seemed like something he would do just to watch you squirm.

“That’s…really sweet, Tori. But we should really knock some of this stuff out of the way. And I was really looking forward to spending time with you.”

“ouch.” Sans stuck his hands in his pockets. His words didn’t match that sly grin at all. “low blow.”

Toriel huffed and put her hands on her hips. Uh-oh. You’d done it now; she was slowly easing back into Mom Mode™. “It is very important for you to unwind. And while I would very much like your company today, I already made plans to take my children out today. We are going to the aquarium.”

Both of them looked just like the cat that ate the canary. This was why they were such good friends. They just had a knack for messing with people.

You swallowed and forced yourself to stand up, abandoning the very important documents that whined at you in protest. “Alright. I guess I could…I mean, if you want to, Sans.”

“heh, now that you mention it,” he joked.

You didn’t even bother humoring him. You learned your lesson after the last time. “Never mind. Tori, are you sure about this? I don’t want to just abandon you.”

She shook her head. “Thank you! But please, you two deserve some time together. After all, we do not know how busy we will be later, and Sans deserves to have some downtime with his… _vertabae._ ”

“heh.” Sans looked so tickled. You couldn’t even explain how downright smug he was. Dimples showing through the wide-set grin, eyesockets crinkled and the pinpricks of light blowing wide with every shake of his shoulders.

Wait. What did she just say? Did she just…make a pun…about you…and Sans? Together? He had to have told her, then! He mentioned your…date!

“Toriel????”

“Go on, there is no need to be so _sternum_! I have much to do. I am sure you will find some way to spend your time.”

“Toriel are you winking???!!!!”

You couldn’t believe this was happening. In her own home. Your oldest friend and your…crush…standing in the same room and making light of your experience together. Ugh. You could just feel the redness spread across your neck and the backs of your ears. You’d never even told Toriel about how you felt. And somehow she picked up on it? You knew you weren’t the subtlest person when it came to her, but seriously?

“c'mon, babe. we shouldn’t waste this gift. even if tori’s givin’ us a good _ribbing_.”

They snorted with laughter simultaneously. What. Dorks.

It took a little more convincing and some minor shoving, but Toriel managed to get you out the door. With Sans. Standing on her front porch. Looking across the street and wondering just how the hell you managed to get in this mess.

You tried to stifle the scream in your throat when you realized that he gave you a…pet name. And it worked well enough that it didn’t creep you out. God, what was wrong with you? If anyone else pulled that on you, you would’ve felt sick to your stomach or cringed when they used it. With him it was different. It embarrassed you all to hell, but it wasn’t because you hated it. In fact, it was the opposite. You weren’t sure how to handle and process that information.

Sans said he wanted to take you out to Grillby’s. Odd choice, considering the both of you knew a certain someone who you hadn’t seen since “the incident” would be working there. Maybe he didn’t care. Or he was just that hungry for a burger. Either way, you tagged along and humored him. If he wanted to spend his day off with you at his favorite restaurant, who were you to judge?

You walked inside and the door jingled with its usual greeting. Grillby looked up from the bar and waved at you. You returned it warmly (heh). You headed toward the bar, since it was Sans’s usual spot, but he stopped you with his phalanges along your wrist.

“hey. open booth on the other side. wanna check it out? might be a cool view.”

“Sure.”

That wasn’t like him, either. He always sat at the bar because it was right by the kitchen and he didn’t have to wait long to get his food. It also made a lot more sense that you would do that so you wouldn’t have to be served by Ro, but…Sans didn’t seem bothered in the slightest.

You slid into the seat and shuddered from the burst of warmth that followed. It just toasty enough in here that it would make you sleepy after a big meal.

Wait a second. That wasn’t the temperature of the restaurant.

“Um, what’re you doing?” you stammered, Sans saddling up next to you. Did he not understand this wasn’t how booths worked? What kind of weirdo left the other half completely empty?

He chuckled. “whoops. sorry. forgot we weren’t at the bar.”

You knew it. He still didn’t budge, though. “So…are you gonna move?”

“why? too close for ya?” He winked. “jeez, n’ here i thought we were makin’ real progress.”

You let out a small noise of discontent. “I mean, I can’t really see you like this. It would be nice if we could talk face to face.” Not to mention that his shoulder against yours was causing you to overheat. It was one thing for you to be at the movies, with a welcome distraction, but you were the only thing entertaining yourselves at this point.

He went quiet for a moment and you realized why.

“Pfthahaha! Hey, guys! Haven’t seen you in a while! What can I get for you?”

Sans’s grip tightened on the menu. Why did he even pick that up? He knew the thing front to back. He wasn’t even looking at it; he had his attention fixed on your server. You couldn’t read his expression, but the energy he gave off was downright icy.

“heh. hey there, pal. mind givin’ us a minute? kind of uh, having a moment here. y'know. _bonding_.”

You swallowed. He was really gonna do this? In front of everyone? Threaten Grillby’s number one employee, the monster that drew in business and was considered the most charming person around? You weren’t sure if you should be flattered or upset. While you understood that Sans was still annoyed at what happened, he needed to let it go. Lingering on it wasn’t going to change anything.

“I see that! You two finally get together? Aw, that’s great! I gotta let the boss know so he can send you a free dessert or something.”

You faltered. Ro acted like nothing happened. It was just like Alphys said; what they did to you, on the stage with hundreds of people watching, was just a fancy routine and nothing more. You thought you wouldn’t have any hangups about it, considering you were tricked into it, but it just kind of pissed you off now.

Sans seemed to notice your shift in mood and moved so you were completely out of sight. “yep. both of us _consentin’_ adults. it’s real nice, you should try it out sometime.”

“Dating’s not really my thing.” Ro shrugged. “Happy for you guys, though. I’m about to go on break so I’ll send over the new guy to take care of you.”

Finally. With him gone, you felt like you could breathe again. Well, sort of, since Sans was still shoulder to shoulder with you. And the both of you barely fit on this seat. You tried to make yourself smaller by tucking in your limbs, glancing down at the table, before he reluctantly stood and slid across from you.

“yeah. gotta say, this view’s a lot better than the last one.” He grinned.

You put your orders in since both of you knew what you wanted. You didn’t even bother trying to get to know the newest server Shev; your experiences with Grillby’s staff still left a sour taste in your mouth. Maybe someday you would get over it and give the dude a chance. But for now, you were content to pretend that he didn’t exist. Okay, so maybe you would leave him a huge tip as a semi-apology for being kind of rude to him.

You weren’t sure what to do with yourself. This was…kind of weird. You and Sans went out together once. And now you were here. You still weren’t a hundred percent convinced this was real. Your self-esteem and piss-poor ego told you otherwise. So you did the only thing you were good at: tearing yourself down.

“So, funny thing. Our mutual friend seems to think we’re dating.”

Sans put his chin on his hand and leaned forward. “must be all the dates we’ve been on. crazy, huh.”

“Saaaaaans! Don’t encourage her. She’s never going to let us live this down if you do. It’s not good to get her hopes up, she really likes setting people up. It’s her mom thing.”

“hey, always said she was a good judge of character. we shouldn’t disappoint her.”

You were glad you were on the same page. Toriel was quick to jump to conclusions when she had an idea of what she wanted in her mind. You shouldn’t have strung her along and made her think that there was something more between you. Even if it hurt her, at least in the long run you wouldn’t have to keep up some sort of façade to please her.

“Exactly. So we’ll do it quick, like ripping off a bandaid.”

He laughed. “jeez, never thought you’d wanna move quite that fast. hell, i would’ve gotten a ring picked out if you were ready.”

You resisted the urge to toss your head back and roll your eyes as far back as they would go. You hated when he did this. “Be serious for a minute.”

“how can i be serious when i’m sans?”

You both shut up when the plates hit the table. That was a lot faster than usual. You glanced down at the arrangement of the burger and were vaguely reminded of your…hangout all that time ago when Muffet first opened up her café. She’d done the same thing. Put a bunch of the ingredients together to form a heart. You never did ask her why she did it; you just assumed it was a monster thing and related to SOULs. 

But now, in trying to deal with one misunderstanding after another, you were swept up with the cold realization of the truth:

It was a fucking heart. Just a heart. As in, the near-universal symbol of love.

Muffet, what the fuck. GRILLBY. WHAT THE FUCK!!!

You quickly grabbed the pickles and shoved them off to the side, splitting up the shape as best you could without ruining your fries. Nope. Not gonna happen. You went on _one_ date. _One_ date and nothing after that. Sans dropped you home and you went your separate ways. You called and texted as usual, and you had absolutely no inkling of anything more than that until he showed up at Toriel’s house to whisk you away to eat here alone.

After making sure the entire thing was disassembled, you glanced upward.

“I just…I don’t want to make this weird. I know she means well, but I feel like it’s better to tell her up front that it’s not…um…”

What even was that? He just…gazed at you. Hanging on your every word. Had he always been this way? Or were you just noticing it now because you were hyperaware of where you were and literally everyone listening in on your conversation? They thought you didn’t notice, but it was a little hard not to with monsters in the bar craning their necks and leaning as far forward as they could.

And Sans…was…? You couldn’t even describe it. A half-lidded gaze that just oozed one hundred percent interest in your every word. Most of the time when you talked he only had to half-listen because he could process things so quickly, being the genius that he was. But he never just…watched the way your mouth formed words and angled his body toward you. Did he?!

“W-why are you looking at me like that?” you finally asked, heart caught in your throat.

“heh.”

You should’ve known. He was messing with you. “Don’t laugh!”

“heh heh heh. wow.” He laughed harder despite your protests. Oh, you were gonna get him back for this for sure, now.

“What?” you squawked.

“welp, you’re too cute, is all. i like seeing you flustered. i thought it was obvious.”

Was he…? Were you…? You grabbed the nearest napkin and buried your face in it, letting out a low groan. This was SO damn embarrassing. Between his words and your audience, you were going to pass out. It didn’t help that the entirety of the bar whispered amongst themselves, and it soon turned into a gentle mantra of his name. What the hell was that supposed to do? Encourage him?

You snuck a glance through the fabric and saw he was still grinning, ear to ear. It worked.

“you’re into me, can’t say i blame ya. you’ve got good taste.”

You almost bit into the napkin to muffle your own screams. This was hell. You were in hell. Now the restaurant had gone from mild murmurs to downright chanting. Monsters banged their fists on the table and their silverware clashed against each other. You somehow heard Grillby laughing in the back as the cooks clapped their hands.

“and i’ve got A Big Thing for cute human girls with purple SOULs that accidentally make puns. so i’d say we’re even.”

The entire place burst into cheers and applause.

“HE DID IT!”

“Way to go, Sansy!”

“K-k-knew you could get it out there!”

“Congratulations!”

You were so confused. And mortified. You kind of wanted to fall into the void that he took you through so often and just spend the rest of your life there. Away from all of this.

When the laughter and hoots settled down, Sans lifted the napkin from your face. Surprisingly enough, he was surrounded with magical energy that nearly gave you a quick jolt when you shifted. He was glowing. Literally. His face. His aura. You’d never seen anything like this before, and it was as incredible as it was concerning.

“A-are you done?” You huffed, heartbeat settling back to a normal, non-deathly rate. “Why’d you do that? In front of everyone?!”

“you know me. i don’t put effort into anythin’.” He winked. “but sometimes…i gotta make an exception.”

“I don’t know if I should punch you or not. I’m still deciding.”

Despite your annoyance, everything felt surreal. No one had ever put this much effort into confessing to you before. And you still felt like this could be part of some prank. But this was the most energetic you’d seen him. His magic was literally thrumming with what he’d done. He was alive and it showed through every single time he looked at you. His pupils dilated just a smidge, his grin got that much wider, and his laughs a little louder.

He put it all out on the line. He took the plunge. He knew there was a chance, albeit a small one, that you would reject him. And he still shoved all of that away, despite every single thing he’d learned Underground about not caring and letting the world be. He forced himself to change the status quo.

If that wasn’t evidence enough that his feelings were genuine, then nothing would suffice. This went against everything he stood for and you’d never seen him happier.

“You’re lucky I’m into you, Sans,” you told him shakily, trying to play it cool and failing miserably. “Or else I would get up and leave.”

“oh yeah? prove it.”

What.

Way to call your bluff. He looked so expectant, too. You wanted to tell him. But there was just a part of you that was…hmm, not…embarrassed. That wasn’t the right word. Squeamish? You couldn’t place it. Expressing yourself to someone sounded great in theory, but when they had done so much for you and you couldn’t even stack up…it was a lot of pressure. To come right out and admit that everything you thought you knew about yourself up until this point was moot. Because for the life of you, you couldn’t fathom ever trusting someone enough to even entertain doing this.

You rose from the table and his expression waned. “heh, sorry, got a little ahead of myself there…”

It wasn’t his fault. Not at all. You were the coward. And if you were going to sit here and let him do all the work, then what kind of…girlfriend would you be? He stood to meet you, trying to get you to stay, but it was all the opening you needed.

You leaned forward, put both hands on either side of his face, and kissed him.

You weren’t sure if the place went dead silent or erupted into another thunderous round of applause. It didn’t matter. Because despite the niggling thoughts of this being wrong and weird, of your body telling you this wasn’t natural, you pushed forward with it.

You fucking kissed him. YOU KISSED HIM! You kissed the _shit_ out of him! Angling your head so you could smooch him all over his stupid, smug little face. Squeezing your eyes shut tight so you wouldn’t put the nervousness you felt on full display.

The bone near his teeth was pliant and malleable, not quite like lips, but something that pushed and gave way as he returned the gesture in surprise. You’d always wondered how he managed to sip at straws and chug down drinks, and this was your answer. Monster anatomy was always interesting, to say the least.

But he was warm. And from here you could feel his magic crackle, which only sent something soaring in your chest. He was into this just as much as you were. And judging by the way he didn’t recoil with how hard you held him in place, he was just a-okay with this turn of events.

You pulled away and sank back into the chair. Sans was grinning so hard you weren’t sure how he hadn’t hurt himself by now.

“wow…” He glanced off to the side. “guess i need to step up my game, huh.”

“Probably,” you said breathlessly.

The full brunt of what you’d done hung on your shoulders now that you looked around. Monsters all around were laughing and talking about you animatedly. For a brief moment you were sick to your stomach, but you knew that none of them were cruel enough to make fun of you for it. If their little stunt earlier was any indication of how they felt, they’d all been wanting you to take the plunge for a while. And who were you to disappoint? These were all Sans’s friends, whether he considered them or not.

You sat in what felt like a full five minutes of complete silence. Both of you were too stunned to say anything. At one point you considered making an excuse to go to the bathroom and never coming back, but knew you had to stop running away at some point.

He put his feelings on the line. So did you. Now it was up to you to make it work and get past your complete and utter awkwardness.

“So, um…we’re together. As in. I’m your… _vertabae?”_

That did it. He broke down laughing and his head hit the table while he hunched over to hide his expression. You followed suit, albeit a little nervously, because you were still on edge about this entire concept.

“yeah. that was the plan. unless you got somethin’ different in mind. but judgin’ from that kiss, i’d say we’re on the same page.”

“Good. I mean, great. I just. I’m sorry if I’m messing this up, this is all new to me.”

“same here.” He shrugged. “we’ll make it work. we got lots of catchin’ up to do.”

You weren’t sure what he meant, but rolled with it anyway. You would take his word for it.

You had to stick around for about five rounds of free drinks on various people at the bar. Monsters that watched while you knocked back everything you could. Their liquor wasn’t exactly like what humans forced themselves to drink. It was designed for people to loosen up without numbing their nervous systems with poison. Just a little bit of magic concentrate to spike someone’s endorphins.

Grillby seemed to be the one supplying the most for you. You felt like he was genuinely ecstatic that you and Sans were…dating. He must’ve been waiting for this just as long as Sans had. Whatever the case, you definitely weren’t complaining. At least not after the second or third glass.

“we should get outta here. you’re not off tomorrow.”

“No, I’m not.” Damn. you really wished you were. You never wanted this to end. It was…fun. It was good. Way better than what you expected.

You headed to the door after splitting the check. Ro tried to say goodbye, but you walked out without humoring them. You were still upset about things and Sans was…well, to say he was pissed off would be an understatement, judging by the way he acted tonight. It was good to know he had your back.

“let’s take the scenic route.”

“Alright, what’d you have in mind?”

He looked so damn pleased with himself. “i’m lookin’ at it.”

“Oh my GOD. The same line won’t work twice.”

The two of you shuffled along the sidewalk. It was so nice out. The streets were busy enough that you had so many things to hold your attention as you talked. People biking with their reflectors in place, cars packed bumper to bumper, kids hanging outside of shops on their skateboards and texting on their phones. The whole place was lit up and ready to go. It made you feel kind of lame that you had to abandon this sort of atmosphere because you had to stick to some annoying ass sleep schedule.

“my bro said you n’ him are invited to undyne’s tomorrow.”

“Yeah, she said she had some things we needed to cover.” You shrugged. “I’m gonna drop by after I get off work.”

“cool.” He stopped at your apartment door. “welp. here’s your stop. before ya go, i got a secret to tell ya.”

“Um, okay. What?”

He beckoned for you to stoop down so he could whisper it. Whatever it was, you were fully expecting something gross. Sans had a habit of trying to make you squirm by playing pranks. The last time he did something like this, he put a snail on your cheek and you screamed so shrilly that your neighbor thought you were being murdered. He ended up laughing so hard he had to use your emergency inhaler to stop wheezing (which…you had a million questions about, but okay).

But you gave him the benefit of the doubt, so you bent to his level.

Imagine your surprise when he laid one on you.

Smooth, Sans. Real smooth. Where did he get that from, one of those rom-coms he suddenly knew so much about? You weren’t complaining. You laughed against him and ignored the distant alarms in the back of your head, muscles tensing from the shock of having him surprise you. But it faded with time and reassurance, his hand snagged along your waist to make sure you didn’t go anywhere.

“heh. alright, i’ll let ya go.” He did just that. “sorry. couldn’t help myself. you ok?”

“Mmmhmm.”

“you sure? lookin’ a little speechless there, babe.”

“Yeah. Shut up.” You shoved him half-heartedly and unlocked the door, your heart pounding and adrenaline coursing through you. You needed a few more minutes…hours…to process this. “Good night, Sans.”

“see ya.”

You let yourself in and made sure he was down the stairs before locking yourself in. You managed to walk to your couch and set yourself down.

From your pocket, your phone buzzed. Whoever it was, they were getting a message chock full of all the details.

The best part? You were looking forward to it.


	2. Deux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Papyrus do your best to make Undyne and Alphys’s wedding perfect. Too bad they have other plans for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this series updates **tuesdays and fridays**!
> 
> requests and suggestions are always open!

You gazed at the picture. It gazed back. Judging you. Just waiting for you to express how fucking weird this was. Why the hell did Alphys keep framed photos of anime catgirls in her kitchen? And why was Undyne okay with it?

You set it down on the counter and sighed. You let yourself in with your key because Papyrus took them out to celebrate their engagement. Something about a wrestling match? Undyne was super into it, and Alphys didn’t mind tagging along so long as there was free wifi.

“WE’RE HOME, NERD! YOU BETTER NOT HAVE MESSED ANYTHING UP!!!”

You stole another glance at their…interesting choice of decoration and felt a mild spike of panic. You really hoped she didn’t have it a certain way. You weren’t looking for another reason to have Undyne suplex you.

Alphys was the first one to trot in, tail bouncing as she walked. She was on her phone and didn’t even bother greeting you when she came in. She just marched right up to the object you were scrutinizing and placed a bottle of catnip next to it.

Ohhhh godddd, Alphys….how were you even friends…what a dork….

“HAHA! Humans are all weenies, Papyrus, but those ones could probably give you a run for your money! You better start back on your training regimen if you wanna keep your spot as the _second_ strongest monster!”

“PREPOSTEROUS. WE BOTH KNOW THAT WE SHARE THAT SPOT. AS NUMBER ONE. BECAUSE I AM CLEARLY BETTER THAN THAT AND YOU AND I ARE EQUALLY MATCHED.”

“Just try me, punk!!!”

Something crashed and that got Alphys’s attention. “H-hey! Not inside the house, you two!”

“Sorry, babe!”

“IT WAS UNDYNE’S FAULT.”

You laughed to yourself under your breath and hopped up on the counter. “Hey, Aly. How was the show?”

“Oh, it w-was good! I’m finally caught up on season fifteen of Doki Doki Gaiden! Y-you really need to get back on track with it, there was this new antagonist that could control the weather and they ended up creating a hurricane that sent Sachiku back in time! And she met an alien ruler who introduced Earth’s inhabitants to technology!!! O-oh…spoiler alert…”

“Sounds pretty cool. But I was actually talking about the match.”

“Oh MAN, it was AWESOME!” Undyne roared, coming into the room with a glint in her eye. 

She immediately made a beeline for the fridge and snagged a big bottle of water with her name on it. Inside there were rows and rows of them already prepared for her to slam during the day. The worst part about being a fish monster was that she had to stay hydrated all the time. The best part was probably the ability to basically breathe underwater and her cute fiancée, but yeah. 

“We got so pumped that they almost invited us up to the ring for a tag team match, but Alphys said she didn’t want us to injure any fragile humans so we had to step down.” She cackled. “But not before Papyrus and I went a few rounds!!!”

There was gonna be a video out there somewhere. You couldn’t imagine how the crowd reacted to it. You decided not to play devil’s advocate and ask them what happened after that, but she humored you anyway.

“But they couldn’t handle us for more than a few minutes, so we called it quits. I still won, though!”

“YOU DID NOT. YOU HELD YOUR OWN. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.”

“You’re being pretty BOLD today, Papyrus!!! Trying to show off in front of her?! Huh?! You don’t need to act cool if she already knows you’re a DWEEB!” She grabbed him and went for the noogie, which made him immediately cry in protest.

“A-anyway, we invited you over b-because we have something to tell both of you.” Alphys redirected the conversation, having made sure that the others stayed focused. “It’s about the wedding.”

“Oh. Sure.” You had a feeling it was related to their big day. “Lay it on me.”

“Since we’re doing this by human traditions, we w-wanted to make sure that we show everyone how much you two mean to us. N-normally there’s a best man and maid of honor, s-so…that’s what we wanted to ask of you!”

That was. Completely adorable. You broke into a grin. “Are you serious?”

“Of COURSE we are. Both of you may be nerds, but you’re OUR nerds.” Undyne crossed her arms and leaned forward to sneer at you. “I didn’t think anyone needed a weird title, but Alphys said you guys would be totally into it. And it looks like you are.”

Papyrus was silent the entire time. When you went to check up on him, he was crying. Oh, man. It was too cute for words. The big, sparkly eyes and tears running down his cheekbones. He was going to overload in a second if he didn’t get it out, but there was just so much happening that he couldn’t find what he wanted to say.

You put your hand on his arm tentatively to calm him down. He jolted at the sensation before stealing a glance at you, sniffling noisily.

“THIS IS TOO MUCH. IT IS FAR TOO GREAT OF AN HONOR FOR EVEN ME!!!”

“Don’t be such a weirdo!” Undyne snapped.

Why was she getting so annoyed with him? When you squinted at her for any hint as to why she was so on edge, you realized that she was trying to hold herself back from mirroring his expression. Oh my god. She was going to cry with him. He was about to make her weepy and she turned to anger to mask it. In any other circumstances you really didn’t see her putting on such a bravado, but this was Undyne you were talking about. She wasn’t about to let something so heartfelt put a dent in her day.

“I CANNOT CONTROL THE TEARS, THEY HAVE MINDS OF THEIR OWN!”

“NNNNGAAAHHHHH! PAPYRUS, STOP!!!”

“WE ARE TRULY THE BEST OF FRIENDS. AND NOW THE ENTIRE WORLD WILL KNOW!!!”

It was too much. You broke down laughing. Alphys joined you, having hopped up on her stool so she could get to work with sketching some new ideas for her next invention. She had a lot of people interested in funding whatever next big thing she came up with.

“You guys should just hug it out and get this over with.”

“YES. SKELETON HUGS ARE THE COMFIEST AND WARMEST OF ALL THE HUGS. WE SHOULD CELEBRATE THIS MOMENTOUS OCCASION!”

Nothing she could say would deter him. Not when he was overwhelmed like this. Even though she denied him at first, he swept her up and crushed her to his chest. She sat there for a few seconds just completely mortified while he babbled on about how he was going to make her proud.

You were overcome with another bout of happiness for the two of them in deciding to get married. You couldn’t ever see yourself in a relationship like that, not even with…Sans. Mostly because he just didn’t seem the type to go through so much effort in sealing the deal, so to speak. And you wondered if Papyrus ever thought about it; if you knew him, he probably did in some sort of weird way. As in, it would be less about him romanticizing the idea of him in love and more about all kinds of whacky things he would do to put on a show for everyone attending. Maybe that was why he was so excited about this event coming up.

“Yeesh, okay!!! I get it, we’re all in agreement!” Undyne scoffed. “Now both of you have to promise you’re not gonna EMBARRASS us. I know you of all people should behave in front of other monsters, but don’t go around being invasive and scaring off our guests with all of your weird human talk!”

“Weird human talk? The hell?”

“SHE IS NOT WEIRD. SHE IS FASCINATING.”

You flushed. “Thanks, Paps.”

“Ugh, whatever. You’d better make sure that you don’t let her get roped into anything too crazy. She’s a people-pleaser and if one of the monsters oversteps their boundaries in making her uncomfortable…” She drew her finger across her neck. “You take care of ‘em, got it?!”

“YOU KNOW I CANNOT PROMISE SUCH A THING. BUT I WILL POLITELY ESCORT THEM FROM THE PREMISES. AND PROBABLY THANK THEM FOR ATTENDING THE PARTY BEFORE THEY WERE RUDE ENOUGH THAT I WAS FORCED TO MAKE THEM LEAVE. OH, THAT REMINDS ME: ARE WE GIVING OUT GIFT BAGS WITH PARTY FAVORS?”

“Urggghhh, never mind!!! I’ll just get them out myself! Listen, I’m gonna go take a quick shower and change. After which, we gotta sit and discuss the game plan for this wedding thing. In the meantime, you two need to go find the…special…thing.”

“SPECIAL THING?”

“YES!!! Special thing! A-Alphys will tell you more about it!”

Undyne dashed out of the room before her fiancée could respond. You didn’t think you’d ever seen her run so fast before, not in her own home, at least. You blinked after she finally disappeared around the corner, hearing her frustrated scream echo through the winding hallway.

“We have a special m-mission for you two.” Alphys made you sit down at the breakfast nook. She adjusted her glasses with a slight nudge from her finger and stared at you confidently. “U-Undyne and I have a secret weapon to make the wedding perfect. A-and we can only entrust it to our maid of honor and best man. The problem is, um…it’s in the attic.”

That didn’t sound so bad. “Okay. So it’s lost with all of the junk you stored when you moved in?”

“Y-yes! But there’s more to it than that.” She paused for what seemed like dramatic effect. “The t-truth is…Undyne believes it’s haunted up there.”

“NO I DON’T!!!!!” She echoed from the other side of the house (???).

Alphys narrowed her eyes. “She d-does. And she refuses to go u-up there because she thinks there’s a ghost. Which is…” She sighed. “I tr-tried explaining to her that every single shred of evidence about this kind of thing on the surface has been either fabricated or debunked, b-but she refuses to listen to reason! If it was a monster it w-would be one thing, because we know that g-ghosts are just as friendly and sentient, but for some reason she b-believes that the past inhabitants of our home still hang around.”

“In the attic?” you deadpanned.

“Y-yes.”

Papyrus didn’t laugh, but you sure were about to. You couldn’t imagine someone so tough being frightened half to death over this. It didn’t help that she was so mortified with herself that she had to leave the room to deny it.

“WHILE MY FIRST CHOICE WOULD BE FOR UNDYNE TO FACE HER FEARS, I REALIZE WE MUST COMPROMISE. IF THIS IS OUR FIRST DUTY AS OFFICIAL ELITE WEDDING GUESTS, THEN WE WILL DO IT WITHOUT HESITATION! RIGHT, BESTIE?”

Sure, why not. “You got it, Paps!”

You made your way into the hallway near the girls’s bedroom. There was a small string that hung down from the ceiling where you could release the staircase. Papyrus was already sold on the idea. He said it was like the house itself was a puzzle and you were sent to investigate something gone awry. You always did admire how he had such a creative outlook on little things. He definitely made a chore seem fun.

He went up first and you followed closely. As soon as you reached the top, you gazed through the glimmer of light from the window at the back of the room. Dust hovered in the air and seemed to sparkle when the sunbeams went through it. It would’ve been pretty any other day when it didn’t cause you to sneeze loudly into your arm.

“WOWIE. THERE IS SOME COOL STUFF UP HERE.” He headed toward the giant cardboard cutout that had several musty towels stacked on top of it. “WHAT…OR WHO IS THIS? ANOTHER ONE OF THEIR BELOVED CARTOON CHARACTERS???”

“Probably.” You coughed and shooed away the tiny moths that scattered when he shook them out. “Ugh, it’s disgusting up here. I should’ve brought a mask.”

“OH. I FORGOT. I THINK I MAY HAVE AN EXTRA SCARF WITH ME FOR YOU TO USE.” He dug into his pockets for emphasis, though you weren’t sure how he could fit anything in them with his waist and hips being so small.

“You’re good, Paps. I’ll be fine. It’s just gross.”

“I AGREE. BY THE WAY, DID YOU HAPPEN TO ASK WHAT WE WERE LOOKING FOR?”

Now that he mentioned it, you were so excited at the prospect of spending time with him that you hadn’t thought about it. “Uh, no. Did you?”

“BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER IN THIS HIDDEN TROVE OF TREASURES, WE SHOULD ASK ALPHYS.”

You reluctantly followed him to the stairs. Except…when you got there, they’d already been pulled up. You must have done it without thinking twice. Whoops.

Papyrus got to work in opening it, though, so you waited for him to give you the okay to head down. He was pretty good at hiding it, but he worried about you quite a bit. It was just one of his weird things that he did; he always had to enter and exit before you did to scope out the place and make sure it was safe for you.

“UH OH.”

“What? What’s wrong?”

“THE DOOR SEEMS TO BE STUCK.” He laughed nervously. “PERHAPS IT LOCKS AUTOMATICALLY?”

That didn’t make sense. If it did, then how would anyone get up here? You tried your hand at it after asking him if you could. He made room while you concentrated on the opening itself. There had to be a latch or something you must’ve tripped, because this kind of thing didn’t just lock. You pounded against the wood for a moment and heard just the faintest whispers down below.

“Alphys! Hey! We’re stuck up here! Can you get us out?”

Everything went silent. Well, except for the loud chomping of her teeth on her fingers. You would know that obnoxious sound anywhere.

“I can hear you down there! Say something!”

Some mumbling and mutters. The tones lilted and were lost amongst the sea of insulation that surrounded you. You wished you could understand what it was she was saying, but she was being quiet on purpose.

“I-I can’t reach the string! Y-you’ll just have to wait until Undyne comes out of her shower!”

No fucking way. Undyne could spent literal hours in there depending on how she felt.

“Can’t you find a chair or something? Stand on top of it?”

“I-I’m sorry but someone is calling on the phone and I have to answer it because it might be one of the people from the w-wedding and this is very important b-but I’ll tell her as soon as she gets out, okay?!”

That was it. She was gone. You collapsed on the ground with a groan, staring up at the molding ceiling. Oh, gross. There were cobwebs in the corners, too. You guessed the whole spiel with Undyne and ghosts had been real after all; there was no way she would let it get this gross if she knew how bad it was. Alphys would’ve, considering the girl used to live on expired candy and soda simply because she was too afraid to go out shopping.

“WELL…IF WE ARE HERE FOR AN INDETERMINATE AMOUNT OF TIME, WE SHOULD MAKE THE MOST OF IT AND FIND THE OBJECT. IT SHOULD NOT BE TOO DIFFICULT! IT WOULD BE SOMETHING THAT IS RELATED TO THE WEDDING!”

His endless optimism did bring a smile back onto your face. “Alright, you got me. Let’s do some snooping.”

Papyrus scooped you up without hesitation. It took you a few seconds to realize that you were on your feet again, but by the time you regained your sense of balance, he was already leading you halfway across the attic.

There was a lot going on up here. Alphys and Undyne didn’t have very much when you first moved to the surface, but their hard work paid off. They were able to get things for themselves and expand their interests far beyond what was available for them Underground. When they ended up buying this house together, there was a lot of junk that they just couldn’t part with. They must’ve stuck it up here as a way to compromise. Some of the objects in here said a lot about them as individuals and also what they were willing to give up for the relationship.

“Oh man, check it out.” You unveiled the poster. “Mettaton’s first big debut on the surface. Do you remember that night?”

“OF COURSE I DO. WE ALL HAD TICKETS TO THE SHOW TO SEE HIM IN PERSON!!! AND HE EVEN SIGNED MY CHEF’S HAT! IT WAS THE BEST GYFTMAS I COULD ASK FOR.”

Good memories. You had to pay Alphys back a tenfold for those seats. She made you marathon a hundred episodes of her newest favorite show for that.

It was totally worth it, though. Mettaton was kind of a big deal when you were trapped. You really never understood the appeal, but Papyrus seemed to like him enough for you to put up with it. And when you found out that he was about to tour with his band? You knew that you had to score some tickets for Papyrus.

At that point in your life, you weren’t in love with him or anything. Maybe that was around the time when you started feeling a ghostly foundation for genuine attraction. Just enough that you were motivated to do something special for him. To give him what he deserved for being such an insanely cool person. Man, the look on his face when you pulled up to the venue…it was worth the god-awful episodes you had to sit through later on.

You moved along the attic. It was musty up here. Papyrus was lucky enough that he didn’t have any allergies, but the accumulation of dust was really setting you off. Nothing major, just some watery eyes and light sneezing.

“ARE YOU GOING TO BE OKAY? SHOULD I BREAK OPEN THE WINDOW???”

You laughed at that. Oh man, imagine you scaling down the side of this place. He would probably put you on his back and shuffle down the drainpipes or something equally ridiculous. If you were being honest, though, he could probably pull it off without a hitch.

“OH.”

You perked up and stopped rifling through the boxes filled with waterlogged manga. “What’s up? Something juicy?”

He stammered out something incomprehensible. Oh, yeah. _Definitely_ juicy. You picked yourself up from your spot and ran over to him before he could try to hide it.

“What is it?”

“IT IS NOTHING.”

“C’mon!” you whined, tugging at his arm. He was rooted in his spot, and just large enough that you couldn’t see past him. “I wanna know!”

“BUT IT IS NOT MY PLACE TO…”

“Papyrus. Please?” A dirty, cheap tactic.

“A-ALRIGHT.”

That totally worked! “Yay!”

He stepped to the side for the big reveal. You were expecting something totally scandalous, but you should’ve known better. This was Papyrus you were talking about.

“Is that…her old guard armor?”

“YES!” He beamed, gesturing to it with a flourish. “SHE USED TO WEAR THIS WHEN SHE WORKED AS THE HEAD OF THE ROYAL GUARD. YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN IT, HAVE YOU? IT WAS MAGNIFICENT. MANY NIGHTS I DREAMED OF BEING INSIDE THIS SUIT AND CAPTURING HUMANS! ERR, A LONG TIME BEFORE I MET YOU, OF COURSE. THE SMALL HUMAN CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT THAT.”

It was pretty impressive. You would’ve been intimidated as hell if she waltzed up to you in it. What was it from? Some kind of weird renaissance fair? And someone just…lost it along their travels so it ended up in the dump? You ran your fingers along the polished metal. Maybe not. This looked like the real deal, not something one would make for a piss-poor cosplay. It could’ve been passed down through her family from the war. Or she just up and bought it from Gerson when she got her first payday.

“IT IS VERY MAGNIFICENT. MORE SO THAN I REMEMBER.”

You scrutinized the suit, his expression, then repeated the motion. “You should try it on.”

His jaw dropped open. “WHAT???”

“Try it on, Paps. You and Undyne are basically the same size. She’s a little taller, but I feel like this would adjust given you wouldn’t really be filling it out the same way.”

Now you couldn’t stop thinking about him inside of it, looking like a knight straight out of a fairytale. Maybe it was a little childish to think of him that way, but it fit. He was protective. Chivalrous in a lot of aspects. A little dorky compared to most modern day guys, but strong as hell and kind to boot. You no longer entertained thoughts of you being a princess whisked away by a dashing man in shining armor, but this was pretty damn close.

“I DON’T KNOW…SHE MIGHT GET UPSET. WHAT IF I RUIN IT?”

“She’s your best friend. She just said you were her best man. This is in no way gonna change that.” He was being so shy about this. It must’ve meant a lot to him, which prompted you to push even harder. “Besides, if she didn’t want you to touch it, she would’ve said so earlier.”

“TRUE.” He ran his fingers along the gleaming, polished set. “OKAY! I’LL DO IT!!!”

You busied yourself with the manga Alphys had stored up here. Some parts were too washed away to read, but it was a pretty decent story overall. You were so engrossed in the fight scenes that you hadn’t noticed Papyrus step toward you.

“H-HOW DOES IT LOOK?”

You glanced up and felt yourself freeze.

Wow. Yeah. So. Um. You weren’t sure how to express yourself? Because when you gave the suggestion, you really weren’t expecting him to look so…good…in it. As in. Whew. Was it getting hot in here? You brushed the hair from your face in an attempt to feel a semblance of a breeze or puff of cool air from the otherwise stifling room. They were the same size, alright. Except Papyrus…with his broad chest and shoulders, slim waist and powerful stance…in that suit of armor…was just a little too much for you to deal with without gaping at him.

“YOUR SPEECHLESSNESS SAYS IT ALL, BESTIE. YOU ARE ENAMORED. I CANNOT SAY I BLAME YOU. IT IS A PERFECT FIT AFTER ALL.” He gazed at himself in the full-length mirror, hands on his hips. “I DO NOT LOOK AT INTIMIDATING AS SHE DID, BUT I DO LOOK VERY FORMAL!!! I WONDER IF PERHAPS I COULD BORROW THIS THE NEXT TIME HER MAJESTY AND I TRAVEL.”

“You look really, really good in that, Paps.”

He stopped midsentence and turned to you. His entire face was reddening, now. “Y-YES? I DO?”

“Hell _yes_ you do. I mean. I can’t. Really take my eyes off you. It’s, um…” You bit your lip and made some kind of weird gesture by flailing your hands. “If I’d seen you like that, all those years ago? I think I might’ve fainted. Because you’re _that_ good looking.”

“O-OH…I SEE….” His tone turned sly. “I HAD NO IDEA YOU…WERE INTERESTED IN MEN IN UNIFORM? ESPECIALLY DASHING SKELETONS…”

That got a nervous laugh out of you. “Don’t tell anyone, will you?”

“OF COURSE NOT. I WILL JUST…STAND HERE. AND GUARD YOU FROM YOUR OVERWHELMING FEELINGS.”

Was he really going to…? Yup, he was posing. Flexing, even. That…asshole. You swallowed thickly. This was flirting, wasn’t it? Was he flirting with you? Or just entertaining you? Sans said that Papyrus still had feelings for you, but it was a little hard to tell when he hadn’t mentioned anything about the night at the carnival. To be fair, you hadn’t, either. But that was mostly out of mortification than just plain fear.

“S-so…um…you think maybe it’s what Undyne wanted you to find?”

“WHILE I WOULD LOVE TO STAND WATCH IN THIS DURING THE WEDDING, I DO HAVE SOMETHING ELSE THAT ‘SUITS’ THE OCCASION MORE, NYEH HEH HEH.”

He paused for a moment and approached you. Seeing him sway in that armor, hoo boy. You weren’t prepared. You had to tear your eyes off him so you didn’t stare, but it didn’t help that he stopped mere inches from your face.

“YOU HAVE FOUND ONE OF UNDYNE’S MOST PRIZED POSSESSIONS!”

You glanced down where his hand rested. Oh! The piano! Of course. You stepped back, flustered, as Papyrus lifted the lid. He pressed a finger against one of the keys and the long note reverberated through the still room. It was interesting to see him handle it so gently despite being dressed to take hits like no other.

“Do you play, Paps?”

“NO, UNFORTUNATELY. UNDYNE ONCE TRIED TO TEACH ME, BUT SHE IS MUCH BETTER THAN I AM! OF COURSE, I TRUMP HER IN OTHER THINGS, LIKE ILLUSTRATIONS, SCULPTURES AND PAINTINGS!”

That was for sure. “You forgot cooking.”

“YOU THINK SO? I MEAN, YES!!! TRULY I AM A MASTER AT MANY THINGS, BUT INSTRUMENTS IS NOT ONE OF THEM. SANS IS BETTER, EVEN IF HE ONLY PLAYS THREE NOTES ON HIS TROMBONE.”

“Well…I wouldn’t sell yourself short. Three notes on a piano isn’t so hard.”

Moonlight Sonata was one of the beginning pieces that most people learned how to play. It was easy enough for you to remember after all this time. You showed him just which ones to tap, your playing shaky from a lack of practice.

“CAN I DO THIS INSTEAD?” He positioned himself behind you and snaked his arms around on either side. Placed his hands on your own. Leaned forward just enough that you could feel him press up against your back.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” It didn’t bother you as much as you thought. In fact, it felt…nice.

It wasn’t much of a session, not really, since for the majority of it he just mimicked the movements on top of your own fingers. But it was soothing. Even though you were sure you looked completely ridiculous, some human girl and a daunting skeleton dressed head to toe in heavy armor both playing the piano. Thinking about it that way brought a smile to your face. Sure, it was strange, a little out of the ordinary. It was just who you were.

“Ah, that’s all I can remember for now. I don’t even know if I could read sheet music if we had any.” You dropped your hands onto your lap and he released you as well.  “So? Did you want to try it by yourself?”

No response. You blinked and turned, only to see Papyrus standing a far way off, his back to you. What happened? Did you say something? You sat there in silence and a million thoughts scrambled through your head, all of them negative. Maybe this reminded him too much of Underground. Did you just trigger something in him?

“BESTIE…”

“Paps, what’s wrong?”

“I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.”

Your heart sank. Oh, no. This was worse than you thought. You braced yourself for the news, a cold sweat already starting at the base of your neck. You were gonna be sick. “A-alright…you can tell me anything…you know that…”

His hands clenched into fists. With one haggard intake of breath, he steeled himself and turned to face you. His footsteps against the aged wood pounded in your eardrums and went in tandem with your heartbeat. Nausea climbed at your throat and waited for its cue. This was it.

“I DO NOT THINK…THAT I CAN REMAIN FRIENDS WITH YOU ANY MORE.”

Oh.

Ouch.

You could already feel the tears creep up and settle in the corners of your eyes. “O-okay.”

“IT IS MUCH TOO DIFFICULT FOR ME TO REMAIN THIS WAY.”

You swallowed the sob already in your throat. “O-okay.”

“EVERY DAY IT IS GETTING HARDER FOR ME TO SEE YOU. AND I AM AFRAID OF RUINING WHAT WE HAVE AS IT STANDS.”

You couldn’t stop it now. You were crying. In front of him. This was probably the worst thing you could’ve imagined happening, and here you were. Papyrus noticed what was going on with you immediately and let out a pained groan.

“PLEASE, BESTIE, DO NOT CRY!!! I HATE TO SEE YOU LIKE THIS.”

Your initial sadness was slowly morphing into unbridled rage. You didn’t want things to take a sour turn, but you were betrayed in about a thousand different ways. “How can you say that?! You’re telling me we can’t be friends any more and you expect me to be okay with it?!”

“IT IS FOR THE BEST. I DO NOT WANT TO RUIN THIS.”

“Well you ARE!” you shouted, finally letting loose of everything that was building up inside of you. There was no way he was going to leave without knowing how you felt. “You can’t just sit here and spend time with me and then DUMP me like we aren’t best friends anymore! You’ve been in my life for SIX years and all of a sudden you want to call it quits? Why? What did I do?!”

“YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!”

“Then why are you punishing me? Why are you doing this…horrible fucking thing to me?” You dragged your arm across your eyes and ignored the stinging that came with it. “I thought everything was fine! Even today when you came in the door nothing had changed! So why now?!”

“BESTIE…”

“Tell me, Papyrus! I need to know why you suddenly think it’s okay that–”

“BECAUSE I AM JEALOUS!!! I AM JEALOUS OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THAT REALLY COOL SERVER FROM THAT GREASE TRAP!!! I STILL VERY MUCH HAVE ULTIMATE FEELINGS FOR YOU AND I DO NOT WANT TO SOIL OUR FRIENDSHIP BY MAKING YOU UNCOMFORTABLE WITH MY PINING!!!”

Was he fucking _kidding_ you?

You closed the distance between you without waiting another single second. You put both hands on his cheekbones and pulled him down to meet you, standing on your tiptoes to reach him completely. He went shock still when you kissed him, hands still at his sides and acting as though the wind had been knocked out of him. You ignored it. If he wanted to stop you, he would have. He would’ve reacted just as quickly as you did that stupid night when you let your insecurities and fears lash out at the person you cared for the most.

It wasn’t what you expected as far as first kisses went. It was basically you just laying your lips on his teeth because he was at the very end of his pained sentence. You didn’t care. A million other things could’ve gone wrong in your life, but you would never regret taking the plunge, sucking up your feelings and going through with something that sent a pleasant shudder down your entire body.

You parted from him when you had your fill. He hadn’t reacted just yet. But you could wait. You gazed at him intensely, trying to express what you felt in full.

“I’m not dating that asshole. They used my SOUL as some showy gimmick for the stage. I never said it was okay and they went through with it anyway just for a cheap five minutes of fame. They’re the last person I want to be with.”

“B-BUT, THE BONDING…”

“They’re a harvester. That’s what Alphys called them. They didn’t care about me when they did that. They just used my SOUL beat to get their way. I never liked them the way I like you, Papyrus.”

He looked absolutely heartbroken. “SO YOUR CONFESSION…ON THE FERRIS WHEEL…WAS GENUINE?”

“YES! I wanted to tell you how I felt! I didn’t even know what they did to me until later that night, and I definitely didn’t think you or Sans saw it! I still stand by what I said. I was just afraid of you coming at me so quickly and everything happening so fast, but…I can’t afford to waste any more time. Because every day regretting that moment has been fucking torture!”

Papyrus laughed shakily and brought a hand up to scratch at his cheek. “IT HAS?”

“Are you kidding me? When you rejected me I moped for weeks! I thought it was because you’d changed your mind, not because you were influenced by what you saw done to me by some skeezy creep! I want to–”

He didn’t let you finish. He bent down and kissed you like he wanted to all those weeks ago in front of your apartment door. You definitely felt that. Eyesockets screwed shut, cradling you like you meant absolutely everything to him. It might’ve been a little uncomfortable since his armor was a little too hard-plated for you to rest your hands on his chest and grasp at him like you wanted to. You powered through it anyway, tilting your head so he could plant more strangely soft kisses along your mouth and chin.

“I WANTED TO…” Kiss. “DO THIS EVER SINCE…” Smooch. “YOU WENT WITH ME TO BUY THE KARAOKE MACHINE FOR SANS’S BIRTHDAY PARTY.”

“Paps, that was…” Mmm. “Like two years ago.”

“I KNOW. IT WAS HORRIBLE. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO REPRESS SUCH IMMENSE FEELINGS WHILE IN A PUBLIC PLACE?”

You drew him in closer, your arm having found its way around his neck. “Yes.”

It was at that moment that you realized something Completely Fucked Up.

You put your hands on him and pushed on the armor just enough to get his attention. “Um, Paps, we should stop.”

“WHY?”

“I shouldn’t have…I mean, I want to, but I have to tell you something.” Goodbye, short-lived happiness. Hello, complete disgust with yourself and guilt. “I’ve been…going on dates with Sans.”

He blinked at you owlishly. “OH? GOODIE!!! I THOUGHT HE WAS MUCH TOO LAZY TO EXPRESS HIMSELF TO YOU!!! I AM GLAD I INSPIRED HIM TO MAKE A MOVE!”

“Wait, what? Aren’t you…?” You squinted at him, ignoring your own suspicious expression in the reflection of the metal suit he was encased in. “Aren’t you…mad? I mean. I’ve been dating your brother and now we’re…kissing. It’s not right. I shouldn’t have.”

You were a fucking mess. You knew you shouldn’t have done this. You should’ve just let your crush fade and kept your mouth shut. Or just done the honorable thing and rejected Sans to save you from this hell. Now you had gone and cheated on him with his brother?! How gross WAS that?!

“AH, SO THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT?” He laughed. “PLEASE, SIT DOWN. WE SHOULD TALK.”

You plopped down on the piano stool. Papyrus preferred to stand while he brought out a pamphlet from his…pocket? Where was he even keeping that? He handed it to you and beamed when you read the title.

_Polyamory for Dummies._

“HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS ARE OFTEN BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE, SO I UNDERSTAND HOW THIS MIGHT COME AS A SHOCK. SURPRISINGLY, IT IS POSSIBLE FOR MORE THAN TWO PEOPLE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP AT A TIME! IT IS FAR MORE COMMON TO MONSTERS BECAUSE WE ARE ALL ABOUT TRUST AND CONSENT.”

Oh my GOD. He was really trying to explain this to you. You set the pamphlet down next to you and tried to gain his attention, but he was on a roll.

“IT IS NOT VERY COMPLICATED? SANS AND I BOTH HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU. AND IT IS VERY OBVIOUS THAT FROM YOUR…KISSES…NYEH HEH…THAT YOU FEEL THE SAME!!! SO INSTEAD OF LIMITING YOURSELF TO ONE OF US, AND HURTING THE OTHER BECAUSE OF A FASCINATION WITH COUPLES, TWOS AND DUOS, IT MAKES FAR MORE SENSE FOR BOTH OF US TO DATE YOU. A HAPPY TRIO INSTEAD OF A SAD DUET!!!”

Okay. Maybe the pamphlet was looking more like a good option considering how uncomfortable you felt. “But you just said earlier that you were…jealous of Ro. Wouldn’t you get jealous of Sans?”

“OF COURSE NOT. HE AND I ARE BOTH WILLING TO CONSENT TO THIS RELATIONSHIP? I TRUST SANS. I DO NOT TRUST THIS OTHER MONSTER AND EVEN LESS SO NOW THAT I KNOW HE HURT YOU. WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT LATER, BY THE WAY. BUT…WE BOTH CARE DEEPLY AND THAT IS ALL THAT SHOULD MATTER. UNLESS YOU DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS.”

You shook your head and stood from your spot. Take the plunge. SAY it. “No, I think…I think I do. I mean, it’s going to be new to me, like, _really_ new…and a little weird at times…but I know that I can count on you guys to make it not-weird.”

“EXACTLY.” He was alight with excitement. “WOWIE, TODAY TRULY HAS BEEN A TURN OF EVENTS!!! I THOUGHT FOR SURE I WOULD HAVE TO STEP AWAY FROM OUR FRIENDSHIP BECAUSE I DID NOT WANT TO PUSH YOU AWAY! BUT IT TURNS OUT YOU LIKED ME THE WHOLE TIME?”

“Y-yeah.” When he put it that way, it sounded pathetic on your part. This was why you needed open communication. “I’m sorry, Papyrus. I should’ve told you about it before.”

“WELL, THERE IS NO POINT IN LINGERING ON THE PAST. NOT WHEN WE HAVE AN ENTIRE FUTURE TO MAKE UP FOR IT.” He beamed. “CAN WE…KISS AGAIN TO CELEBRATE??? I WASN’T QUITE FINISHED.”

“We can kiss as much as you want.”

He took that as an open invitation. You flinched at first, not realizing how…overzealous he was going to be about this. Especially how downright handsy he was. Holy shit. He immediately went straight for your ass! Maybe it was just to lift you up a little better to reach him, but you definitely weren’t expecting it.

You were so overwhelmed with his wandering fingers that you made him stop for just a second so you could catch your breath. “Maybe we could, um…take it slow?”

“OH, AM I BEING TOO FORWARD?”

“Sorry.”

“NO, YOU ARE COMPLETELY RIGHT. THERE IS NO NEED TO RUSH.” He hugged you instead. “IF THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU, JUST LET ME KNOW.”

“Thanks, Paps.”

You had the distinct feeling someone was watching you, so you opened your eyes and gazed down the hall. Your eyes met with something that shifted amongst the boxes and you let out a scream.

“WHAT IS IT?” Papyrus whipped you around behind him and took a defensive stance, materializing a bone to protect you. “IS IT THE GHOST?”

“Ugh, kind of. He just startled me.” You brushed past him, embarrassed at the way you reacted. “Hey! I saw you, you can come out now.”

Mad Dummy hopped out and glared at you icily. “Are you two finished?! That was horrifying!!!”

“No one said you had to watch, creep!”

“Well how was I supposed to know when my cue was to interrupt?!”

“I don’t know, it’s never stopped you before!” You couldn’t count how many times this angry little ghost-turned-training-dummy had taken out his frustrations out on you. “Have you seriously been living up here as the ghost that Undyne’s afraid of?!”

“….maybe.”

The door opened up and Undyne peered over the edge of the hole. “H-hey, nerds!!! You still alive up here?!”

“We’re fine, Undyne. The ghost living up here? It’s Mad Dummy.”

“WHAT???” A pause, and then, “Don’t LAUGH at me, Alphys!!!”

It took about ten minutes to convince the weird little dummy to come out from the attic. He’d been surviving on a bunch of instant noodle packets that Alphys threw up here in the move, some kind of flavor she’d been dying to try but ended up hating. You didn’t even want to ask why he didn’t just head down, especially since…

“Wait a second. Did you get locked up here?”

Mad Dummy bounced around in irritation. “No! The door’s always been open, I just…liked the silence!!!”

You fucking knew it. “Undyne…”

She started to sweat. “W-what? You got somethin’ to say?!”

“The door wasn’t ever locked, was it?”

Papyrus gasped dramatically. “UNDYNE…HAVE YOU SUCCEEDED IN JAPING US?”

“It was ALPHYS’S idea!”

“W-w-what?! We both a-agreed on it!”

You were infuriated and embarrassed. “So you guys…what? Just locked us up here for fun?”

“N-n-no! It was t-to help you get to share your true feelings w-without distractions or excuses! We knew that something was going on a-and we wanted to help, so we j-just thought that…” Alphys deflated. “I-I’m sorry. Maybe we went a little overboard.”

You didn’t want to admit it, but seeing them so downright upset at the way things turned out…well, you would suck it up. “Actually…we did talk. And…things are good between us now.”

“WE ARE DATING!” Papyrus shouted, grabbing your hand for emphasis. “IT WAS ALL THANKS TO YOUR COMPLETELY HARMLESS AND VERY HELPFUL TRICK!!!”

“No. Way. What did it, huh?! Was it Papyrus’ charm or my suit of armor that did the trick?!” Undyne never looked prouder.

Someone please kill you now. “Um, well…”

“BOTH!”

“S-so what about Sans?” Alphys smirked at you. “H-he said he took you out to dinner last night.”

Word sure got around quick. Agh. “Y-yeah, he did, so we’re um…we’re gonna date, too.”

“What?!” Undyne screeched with laughter. “So you’re with…?”

“BOTH!”

You snuck a sheepish glance at Papyrus. He was so damn happy. All of this because you said you would go out with him? And he’d been crushing on you for _how_ long?

Despite the teasing you were gonna get from these two, you were ready to go through with it. Because if you could make him wear this expression on his face, even as he received a congratulatory noogie from Undyne, then this was the decision you were meant to make after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> want to support me and this fic? consider [donating](https://ko-fi.com/A258IM)! 
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> **your comments are always appreciated! i LOVE hearing from you guys!**
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> **question of the day** : how would you increase your DATING POWER with papyrus?


	3. Trois

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You couldn’t believe it. This was actually going to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i update this series **tuesdays and fridays**!

**Saaaaaans <3: **my bro came home and told me everything

**Saaaaaans <3: **did you really start getting flustered with him in the armor?

**Saaaaaans <3: **i thought you were joking when you said you liked guys in uniform

**copper titanium:** oh my god sans it’s one in the morning can we talk about this tomorrow

**Saaaaaans <3: **ok stop by the shop for lunch

**Saaaaaans <3: **try not to jump my bones

**copper titanium** : GOOD NIGHT

Truth be told, you still weren’t tired in the slightest. It was hard to wrap your head around something this complicated. For other people it might’ve been easier to understand and get used to. But you spent your entire life basically hating how you looked and trying to come to terms with the fact that you would never find anyone that would be patient enough to be in a relationship with you. Now all of your prior thoughts were washed away with two grinning skeleton monsters who were more than willing to try.

You buried your face in the pillow and inhaled. As happy as you were with the way things were, it was incredibly daunting. You weren’t like other people. You couldn’t jump into this and leave your hangups behind. You were getting so much better about the whole touching thing, and you guessed kissing wasn’t so bad considering it was done in the moment of passion, but everything else? It was so hard to come out and express how you felt to them without beating around the bush. You were so used to people leaving that you’d stopped even trying to connect and entrust them with your vulnerabilities.

Everyone was so supportive, too. The people that knew…Alphys, Undyne, Toriel…they’d all showed you how they were all for this. Not to mention that huge crowd of monsters at Grillby’s the other night. It was good to see that so many wanted you to be happy, but it still didn’t ease all of your fears.

Some small part of you thought that maybe they didn’t really want this. That you were second choice, a consolation prize, or…you weren’t sure. You knew that wasn’t true, not with how much effort they’d both put into making their feelings clear, but…you couldn’t help it. It was still hard to believe that their affections for you were harbored not just mere months ago, either.

You trudged out of your door that morning to get to work, only to find Papyrus waiting for you in the driveway.

“Uh, hey, Paps. What’re you doing here?”

“I THOUGHT PERHAPS WE COULD CARPOOL TODAY.” Oh man. He was blushing already. “UNLESS YOU WOULD PREFER TO DRIVE ALONE?”

“That’s really sweet. You should’ve given me a heads up, I would’ve gotten out here a lot earlier.” You felt bad. He must’ve been waiting for quite a while. “And this is kind of out of the way for you.”

“NONSENSE. NOTHING IS TOO MUCH FOR THE GIRLFRIEND OF PAPYRUS.” His grin returned full force, the color on his bones retreating…somehow. “NOW TAKE YOUR SEAT, CO-PILOT!!! WE ARE GOING TO DISCOVER THE MOST EFFICIENT WAY TO YOUR WORKPLACE!”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay. I trust you.”

“I KNOW YOU DO.”

You hopped in next to him and buckled up. Papyrus made sure to adjust the mirrors before handing radio privileges to you. It was quiet for the first few minutes while he acclimated to the road conditions and traffic. You didn’t want to break his concentration, so you stared out the window and the passing cars.

“ARE YOU STILL COMING OVER FOR GAME NIGHT?”

“Hell yeah! We’re definitely going to beat Sans for sure.”

“HE HAS AVOIDED DEFEAT FOR FAR TOO LONG. I FIGURED OUT WHERE HE WAS HIDING THOSE PIECES, BY THE WAY. THE ONE PLACE I WOULD NEVER LOOK!!!”

“Inside his dirty socks in the living room?”

“PRECISELY!!!”

“Well, we can totally win tonight. I feel it. We just have to work together.”

“I AGREE. WE HAVE TRIED SO MANY TIMES TO TRIUMPH ON OUR OWN, BUT HE IS FAR TOO BIG OF A CHEATER FOR US TO DO SO.”

You laughed and glanced down when Papyrus rested his hand on the middle console. It was a subtle approach to what he wanted, and you couldn’t very well ignore it. So you placed your hand in his and laced your fingers through his own, the comforting warmth and weight of him sending a warm buzz and tingling through your chest.

He parked at the front of your workplace and offered to take you inside. You agreed. He said he needed to do some shopping anyway, but you just knew that he wanted to stick with you as long as possible.

“HELLO!” He greeted every single person that you walked past. “THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND. SHE WORKS HERE.”

You tried not to rub at your eyes and mess up your makeup. While completely adorable, it was also embarrassing as hell. These people just wanted to pop in and grab a few things, not have a monster give them the rundown on their love life.

“ISN’T SHE CUTE? I’VE MET QUITE A FEW HUMANS. BUT NONE AS ADORABLE AS SHE IS, NYEH HEH!”

This was too much. You were going to pass out from the attention you were getting at this rate. Between his sincere compliments and the dubious looks of the customers, there was no way this was going to end well.

“I UNDERSTAND YOUR DISAPPOINTMENT IN YOUR OWN CHOICES, BUT KNOW THAT I AM THE LUCKY ONE.”

Okay. You made it. You stopped in front of the employee entrance and released his hand, regretting the loss of warmth almost instantly. Despite your anxieties in showing your relationship in public, nearly everyone that gave you weird stares were doing so because of his introductions, not because of you as a couple. Which was…strangely encouraging.

“WELL, I SUPPOSE I SHOULD HEAD OVER TO THE SCHOOL TO CHECK UP ON TORIEL. THEN I WILL BE BACK TO PICK YOU UP THIS AFTERNOON.”

“Have a great day, Paps. Oh, I almost forgot! Sans said he wanted me to stop by his work, so maybe you could drop me off there on your way home.”

“EXCELLENT IDEA! THE TWO OF YOU CAN MEET ME AT THE HOUSE FOR GAME NIGHT. I WILL SEE YOU THEN!”

He turned heel and you smiled shyly. You knew from his expression that he wanted to kiss you in public, but he was doing so well in respecting your boundaries. You couldn’t ask for a more sensitive and understanding boyfriend.  You lifted a hand to wave at him, only for him to return the favor with gusto. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d seen him practically glowing with enthusiasm.

As he walked away, you could hear him stop one of your co-workers. “GREETINGS, HUMAN! PLEASE LOOK AFTER MY GIRLFRIEND FOR ME. YES, THAT ONE RIGHT OVER THERE.” He pointed at you. “DOESN’T SHE LOOK BEAUTIFUL TODAY?”

Work seemed to drag on forever. It always did this when you had something to look forward to. Hanging out with Papyrus beforehand was bittersweet. On the one hand, it was super fun and put you in a cheery mood. But once the initial high wore off, you were left wanting more and suffering through your entire shift thinking about him.

It didn’t help that your co-workers wouldn’t stop gossiping about you. They were all petty and insufferable, and none of them seemed like bigots, but you could just tell that word was getting around about your relationship. Not that it was any of their business. It still pissed you off that they thought they could just pretend to be supportive and then talk shit behind your back.

Papyrus didn’t deserve that. He might’ve been a huge dork and way too excited about this kind of thing, but you weren’t going to discourage him in any way. And they didn’t know him at all. Hell, they didn’t even know you despite how long you worked here. So the best thing to do was just sit around and hope that news of your love life would fade from their mouths.

You rapped your fingers on the table and glanced at your phone. Half an hour for lunch and fifteen minutes for a break. You stacked them despite being told repeatedly not to, just so you’d have a whole forty-five to yourself. Then? A last half hour working to make your paycheck nice and fat.

“That skeleton dude is back?”

“Yeah, he said he was waiting to pick her up.”

“It’s pretty cute. He’s _so_ into her. I never thought she’d be into monsters.”

“It is kind of weird, but it works somehow? He’s so loud and fun. He once came in and helped me take down a box from the top shelf for a customer. I almost dropped it and fell, but he just plucked it up like it was nothing and set it down for me.”

“He said they’ve known each other for years.”

“Good for her. She seems so much happier with him around.”

The two broke from their conversation and you shrunk into your seat, cheeks flushed. Okay. So. It…looked like people were actually okay with you. That was unexpected.

You headed back out to the floor once you clocked out and caught Papyrus looking through all of the perfumes. What exactly was he doing? He bought his cologne from a special monster store downtown.

“HMM…WHILE I TRUST YOUR EXPERTISE IN VARIOUS SMELLS, MY GUIDEBOOK CLEARLY STATES THAT I SHOULD PURCHASE SOMETHING ROMANTIC. IS MASKING HER NATURAL SCENT CONSIDERED ROMANTIC? IT SEEMS IT WOULD BE INSULTING.”

Guidebook? You squinted and saw the large text he held in his hands. Oh, man. That thing looked super lame. Like most of the stuff that fell Underground, it was totally dated. Except…that wasn’t even old. It was just written by one of those hacks just looking for a quick buck off socially awkward people. Not that you would know, or anything.

“Papyrus?”

“AH!” He shoved the book behind him and leaned up against the table, nearly knocking over a whole row of samples. “I DID NOT SEE YOU THERE, DATEMATE.”

It took you a split second to process what he said. “Datemate…?”

“IT IS…A TERM OF ENDEARMENT. I MADE IT UP! A COMBINATION OF…WELL, ONE VERY CASUAL WORD AND ANOTHER MORE PERMANENT ONE. DO YOU NOT LIKE IT?”

You heard whispers behind you. More people drinking in the show. “Of course I do. But what should I call you?”

“THAT IS…YOUR DECISION. I AM PARTIAL TO ANYTHING, REALLY. BECAUSE IT IS NOT THE WORD YOU USE, BUT THE PERSON USING IT.” He fumbled with his fingers. “IS THAT…UM…”

“Yes. I understand what you’re saying.” You extended a hand toward him. “Can we go, now? Tell me all about your day.”

You were so glad to be out of there. Heading through the parking lot with your hulking monster of a boyfriend. Literally. The more you thought about it, the easier it was to use that term, too. You didn’t ever think that it would make you feel this mushy, but it did. And Papyrus seemed to light up every time you alluded to it. Even he couldn’t seem to believe it, almost as if he was reassuring himself with how much he used the term, too.

“We should pick something up for Sans to eat.”

“I AM SURE HE WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE THAT! WE CAN STOP BY THE DRIVE-THRU.”

You snuck a glance at him and smiled. You were trying to be sneaky about it, but he caught the gesture almost immediately. Before he could ask you what was up, you’d already caved.

“Okay, guess what dessert I would order. If you win, I’ll give you a kiss.”

“DO NOT MAKE PROMISES YOU CANNOT KEEP. IT IS NOT NICE TO TEASE YOUR HANDSOME SKELETON.”

“Pfft, you know I’m good for it.”

“HMM…THEN I WOULD SAY…THE RAINBOW SLUSHIE.”

Now that was impressive. “Holy shit. You’re good.”

“I WILL TAKE MY PAYMENT LATER TONIGHT, SO YOU HAVE BETTER TIME TO PREPARE.” He was so pleased with himself. “WHAT DO YOU THINK SANS WILL WANT?”

“Anything but a burger or fries. I once tried to order it at a different restaurant and he said we were cheating on Grillby. Maybe some kind of wrap or burrito. Anything with a lot of sauce on the side, you know how he goes crazy with those packets.”

“YES, HE USES SO MANY OF THEM JUST FOR ONE ITEM OF FOOD. THEY SHOULD JUST GIVE HIM A SMALL A CUP INSTEAD.”

The line was pretty long considering the lunch hour crept closer, so you and Papyrus busied yourselves by guessing what your friends would eat from this place. It was hilarious trying to explain your decisions based on everyone’s personalities. Like how would Toriel substitute her snail addiction? Would Undyne refuse to order anything but water if she had the choice of all the fountain sodas? And what toy would Alphys want to collect the most out of all the ones posted?

This was what you wanted for a long time. Someone to just…be with. A person you could count on and experience life with. A close friend that saw you as something more. Papyrus fit the bill pretty nicely, if you said so yourself. You had years of history to back up this budding relationship. And honestly, you couldn’t imagine trying to do this sort of thing with anyone else. Well, except another monster that you’d built something with over the past six years or so.

You picked everything up from the window. It was just a single bag and a drink, since you’d already eaten and so had he. You held on to everything while Papyrus drove you to Sans’s garage.

It was a pretty slow day, judging by the lack of cars in the parking lot. Or maybe the rush hadn’t started yet. Most people waited until after work to have their cars serviced.

“I WILL SEE YOU TONIGHT, DATEMATE.”

“Bye!” You pecked him on the cheek before hopping out the door, breaking into a grin when you turned to see his expression.

“THAT-THAT DOES NOT COUNT AS A KISS!” He finally stammered out, putting the car into drive. “YOU OWE ME A PROPER ONE! L-LATER!”

By the time he pulled out of the parking lot, you felt much better about the way things were going. Now to give Sans something to look forward to.

He was sitting in the port when you entered the building. Most of the guys were just standing around and talking with each other. No one had noticed you because you didn’t make your presence known, but your steps slowed as soon as you heard your name.

“Good for you, man! She’s all you’ve been talking about for the past year.”

“she’s real sweet. i got pictures.” You heard him fish something out of his pocket. No. Way. He was actually going to do this. “lots of ‘em, actually.”

“Sans is _sprung_. Look at his eyes! They’re little hearts.”

Everyone broke into laughter. “Do all monsters do that?”

You couldn’t take this anymore. You sucked in a breath and pushed through the double doors, the sound catching all of their attention. Most of the guys continued laughing and nudging each other knowingly, but Sans didn’t mind at all. He was passing around his wallet, which was…apparently filled with candid photos of you together. That little sneak. You knew that he was old school when it came to these things, since he said he didn’t trust not losing his stuff by accidentally deleting it. He kept backups upon backups of nearly everything he cherished.

“hey, babe. glad you could make it.”

“I brought you lunch. I hope you didn’t eat already.” You held the bag up for emphasis. The gesture made his co-workers laugh even harder. “Do you have time for a break?”

“yeah, sure.” He took back his wallet and folded all the pictures up so that it was neatly packed into a tight wad. “let’s go to my office.”

So fancy. Being the general manager of the place did pay off. You followed him out of the main room while he listed off some tasks for the rest of them to do. It kind of flew right over your head, given that you were still transfixed on how downright alive he looked.

“i’m glad you came. was kind of hoping you would.”

You settled into the seat across from him. All across his desk were various things that just screamed Sans. A rubber chicken, whoopee cushions, joke books in the drawer behind him. He even had a pillow on some stacks of boxes so he could take quick naps when he wasn’t too busy.

You laughed a little at that, but your gaze stopped at the newest addition to his workspace. A framed photo of you together, something that Toriel snapped a few months ago when you were chaperoning a field trip to the museum. You really didn’t like the way you looked in it. It was more spontaneous and the angle of your face was all off, but you couldn’t tear your eyes off his expression. His pupils were wide and bright. His grin not strained in the slightest. He was laughing in the picture and so were you. You couldn’t even remember why; maybe Toriel had made a terrible pun.

“so, uh…guess we should talk about what happened with you n’ my bro.”

“Yeah. I think so.” You sighed and sank into the chair. “I mean. Papyrus said that you guys talked about this before? How you were both okay with it? I just want to make sure that you are. I don’t want you to sit here and…settle…because you want us both to be happy.”

“you kiddin’ me?” He snickered. “this is what i wanted. everyone’s good with this. my bro and i are adults. we respect each other’s decisions. when he told me he had a thing for you, he was the one that felt all guilty about it. like it was wrong. i dunno about you, but this is the first time since…well, ever that we’ve ever felt this way. about anyone.”

You couldn’t believe it. “Wait, so you’ve never…?”

“nah. like i told you before. i got real high standards.” Another wide grin. “paps was scared at first. said he didn’t know what to do. i just told him it was normal. and we went from there. he did his own research and i did mine.”

Hmm. That was less intrusive than you thought it would be. “I’m…really flattered, honestly. It sounds like it just sort of dawned on you like it did to me.”

“yeah, s’a good way to put it. never thought about anybody that way before.” He flicked his pupils to the door to think for a few seconds. “it was never an issue, though. he liked you, so did i. never once thought that you’d be interested in both of us, let alone me. so. here we are.”

You did feel better about that. “But you two aren’t like…I don’t know…threatened by each other? I know monsters are different. Humans can be downright nasty when it comes to things like this. We have it set in our minds that two’s really the only way to go, and anything else is a sign of failure, if that makes sense. So…I just don’t want you to be for this just to make everyone happy.”

“this is probably the best outcome i could’ve hoped for,” he admitted. “i’m with ya and my bro is, too. you n’ me have been friends for a long time. we trust each other. and it makes me happy knowin’ that he’s found someone i know is gonna care for him as much as he deserves.”

That was spot on. You weren’t just testing the waters because of some intense curiosity motivated by lust. That was fine for other people, but it just didn’t work for you. You needed something more intimate first in order to let your guards down. And there was absolutely no reason to shy away from this situation if you were all consenting adults.

Sans liked you. Papyrus liked you. You liked both of them. So you could function as a trio without worrying about whether you were closer to one over the other and vice versa. You had boundaries already set because they respected each other. They were brothers, sure, and that was kind of weird to some people, yourself included to an extent, but…it definitely wasn’t about them. It was about how their relationships with you could function in harmony with each other.

They were secure enough in their affections for you that they didn’t see each other as interfering. And that was what worked for you.

“I’m really not sure what else I want to say. I feel like…this is what I’ve wanted for a while. I’m just so happy that it isn’t going to be an issue, and…I’m still going to have to work through some stuff on my own. Teaching myself not to feel selfish for being with both of you.”

“it isn’t. maybe if we weren’t aware and we didn’t give the okay. but we did. it’s new for us, too, but we’re gonna make it work. we’ve been through a lot.”

“Yeah.” You plucked the frame off his desk. “Seems like you haven’t had any trouble adjusting. It’s kind of embarrassing.”

“you kiddin’ me? you haven’t seen nothin’ yet.” He looked giddy. “i’ve been waitin’ for this for a long time. i’m savoring it.”

Plan backfired. He was too enamored for you to fluster him at this point. “Okay, I get it, you’re too adorable for me to make fun of. Now shut up and eat your lunch.”

He took a thoughtful bite, tone sly. “you think i’m cute, huh.”

“You _know_ you’re cute. Like, holy shit. As in, ‘I-can’t-believe-I’m-actually-dating-the-monster-of-my-dreams’ cute. With your damn uniform and all that…” You gestured to pretty much all of him. “And Sans in suits? SUPER cute.”

That finally did it. “stop.”

“What…am I making you uncomfortable?” You leaned forward, grinning wickedly. “I loooove when Sans grins at me and winks. And when he calls me ‘babe’. _Especially_ the way he looks at me when he does it.”

“ok. i get it. no more teasing.”

He wasn’t going to get off that easily. “I want to wear his coat around all day. It’s so fluffy and warm. His jokes are the best I’ve ever heard and I’d smooch him for hours if he’d let me.”

You both jumped when you heard a knock at the door. A monster poked their head in and spotted the two of you. It didn’t take long for them to put two and two together.

“Uh, um, Boss…guy says he wants to talk to you…good things, I swear…”

Sans nodded and put his trash on his desk. The other guy was nice enough not to comment on his cherry-red complexion. “welp. looks like i gotta get back to work.”

“What, leaving so soon?” you cooed. “I saw the way you were going on about me to your boys. I can’t do the same?”

He hopped down from his desk and chuckled. The beads of sweat on his forehead suggested he wasn’t having nearly as much fun as you were. He lifted his handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed away at it, trying to make himself much more presentable.

“you just bought yourself a one-way ticket to payback. hope you’re ready for it.”

You were curious about the guy that wanted to talk with him, though. Maybe some customer that was impressed by his services here? He did run a pretty tight ship, surprising nearly everyone. Sans always said he was never one for leadership positions, but as the years went on, he became more open to the idea. It probably helped that you basically persuaded him to at least try it out.

You crept out of the office despite knowing he wanted you to stay in there. You waited a few minutes before going through with it, though, just to make sure he didn’t catch you. You wouldn’t be surprised if he did anyway.

The rest of the guys were busy with a customer, so you were able to lean up against the wall and take a quick peek. Sans stood in front of two people. A human and his monster boyfriend, judging by the way they held hands.

“Anyway, thanks for your time! Sorry to keep you tied up.”

“nah. real glad you came to give me the message. i always like hearin’ about these kinds of things. and don’t worry about the payment plan. we’ll get it sorted out.”

“We appreciate it. By the way, congrats on finally asking out that girl you’ve been pining after.”

OH MY GOD. Exactly how many people knew about this before you did?! What the hell?!

“heh, thanks. you guys wanna see some pictures?”

Saaaaaans. Seriously. He was being so adorkable you wanted to die.

You’d stick around for another few hours. Sans had to tie up some loose ends before handing over the garage to the guy who’d lock up. Then you could head back to his house for dinner and game night, which was more routine than you liked to admit. For now, you would get out of his metaphorical hair and keep yourself busy. You didn’t want to distract him too much.

You ended up just surfing the ‘net on his computer in his office. More surprises there. You were his desktop background. Something from…the pool party? Who fucking took that? You were in your goddamn bikini! You shied away from the enormous amount of bare flesh on screen, but resisted the urge to change it. It was his computer, he had a right to put whatever he wanted on it. It wasn’t lewd by any means, you were just sitting on the side of the pool and staring across the water.

This only solidified what you already knew: Sans was ridiculously into you. Like. It wasn’t an act by any means. He didn’t have to go through this much effort to convince you. Taking it all in, from the outright bragging to the decorations around his personal space, it was clear that he was one hundred percent invested in this relationship and…you.

“havin’ fun?”

“Yeah, actually. I caught up on a great fic Alphys linked to me.” You closed the web browser and pretended not to have noticed his mischievous smirk. “Ready to go?”

“yep. let’s get a move on.”

Papyrus was waiting for you when you walked in the door. He picked you up as soon as you crossed threshold and hugged you tight. Sans walked past you, not bothered in the slightest, opting to head toward the gameboard already set up on the table.

You flinched at first, but settled into his embrace. “Keeping yourself busy, Paps?”

“YES! I VISITED WITH TORIEL EARLIER, LIKE I TOLD YOU, AND SHE TAUGHT ME HOW TO MAKE CUSTARD. I DECIDED TO MAKE SOME FOR US TONIGHT. IT WAS MESSY, BUT I PREVAILED WITH SOMETHING INCREDIBLE TO SHOW FOR IT. WE CAN HAVE SOME LATER!” He paused. “SANS DO NOT TOUCH THE CUSTARD!!!”

“c’mon, bro. i’d rather not _whisk_ pissing you off.”

“WHISK. NYEH HEH HEH…I MEAN, NO. NO DISTRACTIONS! TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT THAT YOU WILL TASTE BITTER DEFEAT!”

“Yeah, and wash it down with his delicious dessert!”

“THANK YOU, DATEMATE.” He picked you up with zero effort and before you could protest, setting you down in your usual spot. “LET THE GAME COMMENCE.”

You sat there, sort of analyzing just what the hell was happening. It was still sort of surreal. Recognizing that you were considered the significant other of both of them. How they each held some very real and deep affection for you. That nothing had changed except everything had. The status quo shifted on its axis with a sharp tilt. But it didn’t feel awkward or strange enough for you to regret it. There was some…small discomfort, sure, but that was more so because you didn’t want to disappoint them with your lack of experience in this sort of thing.

You glanced at Sans for any kind of sign that he was cheating. He was slick about it. You were ninety percent sure that the reason why he won was because he was bending space and time, which was as dirty as it was impressive. He was too lazy to win the normal way, and while letting his brother have the victory would’ve given him a lot of joy, so would pissing him off just the slightest. Siblings were like that, and Sans loved to tease everyone.

“what, got somethin’ on my face? or you just admirin’ it?”

You scoffed and returned to your cards, narrowing your eyes at the shit hand you drew. Damn.

“YIPPEE! TWELVE SPACES!”

“uh, you goin’ senile there, bro? says you only move three.”

“WHAT? I COULD HAVE SWORN…NEVER MIND. IT SEEMS I WAS MISTAKEN.” He took his piece and his eyes bugged out once you saw the fate his dice had given him. “NOOOO! I’VE BEEN SENT TO THE NEVERENDING SULFUR PIT? DISGUSTING?”

“too bad. you can only get out if one of the other players has a token.”

This was your cue! “As a matter of fact, I do. And I’m using it to save Papyrus _and_ …” You ran your eyes over the fine print. “Send him straight on the path to the castle!”

The reaction was just what you wanted. Sans’s smile fell straight off his face while Papyrus beamed at you proudly. “WOWIE!!! ARE YOU SURE? THIS IS A VERY BIG DECISION, AND I WOULD NOT WANT YOU TO WASTE SUCH A VALUABLE ITEM…”

“You’re worth it.” You handed it to him as a show of affection. “There you go.”

Sans chuckled. “uh. wow. playing favorites, underhanded alliances…that’s cheating if i ever saw it.”

Oh no he didn’t. You glared at him. “Don’t test me. You know exactly why we’re doing this!”

“why, ‘cuz you’re both sore losers?”

You and Papyrus exchanged glances. He was trying to bait you, and it was just about to work, too. You weren’t going to sit here and have one of your boyfriends be slandered by the other!

“Sorry, Sans. I didn’t mean to leave you out.” You scooted closer to him and smiled. “I promise I’ll play fair.”

His complexion reddened almost immediately. “heh…alright.”

He wasn’t getting off that easy. This was all part of your plan.

You spent the rest of the night distracting him at every moment possible. Asking him questions about science stuff that he wouldn’t be able to resist talking about. He was such a damn nerd that his spiels went on for full minutes, and in those little bouts, he mysteriously stopped going through “random” strokes of luck. Sometimes you would just shift in your seat and he would put his full attention to you, seemingly entranced as you went through the practiced motions of the game.

Papyrus caught on, too. While the younger skelebro was all about honor and doing things right, he wanted revenge for all the times Sans beat you into the dirt. If it meant getting his hands dirty, he would go through with it and make it up later. You were proud of him for going through with it, as he was much slyer and sneaky than the rest of your friends gave him credit for. Using reverse psychology to persuade Undyne in befriending that kid Frisk? Genius.

“WELL, WELL, WELL! IT SEEMS I AM JUST ONE TURN AWAY FROM WINNING! I AM SORRY YOU HAVE NOT FARED SO WELL THIS TIME AROUND, BROTHER.”

Sans chuckled. “you guys think you’ve fooled me, huh. pulled the wool over this ol’ bag of bones?”

“Uh-oh.” You watched his expression turn downright murderous, how his grin stretched just a little too tight for it to be genuine. “Abort, Papyrus! Abort!”

“ALL IT TAKES IS ONE MORE ROLL!!!”

He reached for the die and it promptly exploded in a cloud of ink.

You sat there in silence. You could feel the liquid spray across your face, now dripping down your chin and onto your shirt. Papyrus got the worst of it. He was covered. Soaked. Down to the bone (heh). It didn’t help that his mouth was open in a cry of triumph, so now he had the bitter taste to go with his bitter attitude.

Sans pulled out his handkerchief and dabbed away at the small speck that landed on his coat. He didn’t bother saying a word.

“So…” You stood up from the table and blinked rapidly, trying to come up with something witty. Mission failed. “I’m gonna go get some of that custard.”

“THAT SOUNDS GOOD. ONE FOR ME, TOO!”

“eh, what the hell. same. don’t short change me on the cinnamon, either.”

You listened to the both of them squabble as soon as you left the room. It sounded like the table had been flipped over, and…yup, that would be Papyrus stomping his foot on the ground while Sans laughed hysterically. Now there was some crashing and yipping…oh god, Annoying Dog woke from his slumber to join the party. Something about being blinded, dog residue in someone’s eyes?

They were lucky you were just crazy enough about them to stick around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> **comments are ALWAYS appreciated! i love hearing from you!!!**
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> **question of the day** : what would your pet names be for the skelebros?


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